Dating Intimacy: What’s in the Way, and How Therapy Can Help

Let’s talk about dating—specifically, the part that gets under your skin a little. Not just the swipe fatigue or the awkward small talk over overpriced lattes. I’m talking about intimacy. Emotional availability. The slow, vulnerable, sometimes-scary dance of letting yourself be seen and letting someone else in.

If that feels heavy, it’s because it is. For a lot of folks I sit with in the therapy room, dating stirs up old wounds. Maybe trust got broken before. Maybe you learned early on to protect yourself by keeping people at arm’s length. Maybe you feel like you’re “too much,” or like you have to earn love through performance. All of that can show up in how we date—and often, without us even noticing.

Therapy is one space where we get to slow all of that down.

We look at the patterns: Are you chasing unavailable people? Are you ghosting the folks who do want to get close? Are you shrinking yourself just to be liked? There’s no shame here—just curiosity. We peel back the layers to understand what those patterns are protecting, and more importantly, what they're costing you.

When you’ve spent years in survival mode, intimacy can feel like a threat. But therapy helps you rewire the story. We work on building safety in connection, practicing boundaries, and learning how to show up as your full self—messy, beautiful, real.

Because the goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to be honest. To feel free in your body and confident in your choices. To choose connection from a grounded place, not a fearful one.

So if dating’s been a maze, or a minefield, or just something you’re tired of struggling through—know this: you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can be a powerful tool to help you love better, starting with yourself.

Let’s do the work. Together.

Best,

Neal Holmes LPC